New survey data reveals nearly one-third of Americans engage in a ‘sleep divorce’

It’s no secret that good sleep makes for better days and stronger relationships, but how couples get that rest, in the same bed or separately, has Americans talking. According to new survey data from the American Academy of Sleep Medicine, nearly one-third (31%) of U.S. adults have opted for what has been coined a “sleep divorce,” or sleeping in another bed in the same bedroom or in another space in the home to accommodate a bed partner. Adults aged 35 to 44 are most likely to engage in sleep divorce (39%) and 65 or older the least likely (18%) to do so.

“As clinicians, we’ve seen our patients and their spouses become more intentional about their sleep environment as they try to improve their sleep health. Often, this includes a conversation about separate sleep spaces to accommodate temperature preferences or even ambient lighting and noise,” said AASM spokesperson Dr. Seema Khosla.

“When our sleep is compromised due to a disruptive partner, resentment can grow. Poor sleep also leads to diminished empathy, patience and understanding.

“Rather than fostering a poor sleep environment for appearances, a thoughtful conversation with the bed partner can result in a stronger relationship, since each partner is achieving more restful sleep. The key is to communicate preferences and be intentional about spending time together before retiring to separate sleep spaces.”

Along with choosing separate sleep spaces, survey data also reveals adults are changing behaviors to accommodate bed partners, too. Over one-third (37%) of respondents say they go to sleep at a different time than desired to accommodate a bed partner, and 15% of people say they use a silent alarm. Males were more likely than females to report implementing these habits in both categories.

“It bears repeating, but a sleep divorce has more to do with mutual respect regarding the sanctity of the sleep space than with a troubled relationship,” said Khosla. “If snoring is causing a disruption, that could be a sign of something more serious, like obstructive sleep apnea.”

Sleep apnea is a common and serious sleep disorder affecting nearly 30 million adults in the U.S. Symptoms of sleep apnea include loud snoring, choking or gasping for air during sleep, which can often be written off as annoying habits, especially by a bed partner. Approximately 80% of cases in the U.S. are left undiagnosed.

“If you notice your bed partner snoring excessively, please bring it to their attention so they can speak with a health care professional,” said Khosla.

While many couples are making choices to adapt to their partners’ sleep habits for better sleep quality, it’s equally important to prioritize getting the right duration of healthy sleep. The AASM recommends that adults get seven or more hours of sleep per night on a regular basis to promote optimal health, productivity, and daytime alertness.

“Healthy sleep is essential for healthy relationships, no matter how it’s achieved,” Khosla emphasized. “Preferred room temperature, work schedules, and even preferences for white noise, pets in the room or light sources can be factors to take into consideration.”